Social Media posts and the real stories behind them
Post: I really appreciate the thousands of messages I have received on my birthday from friends around the world. You make me feel so special! I cannot possibly thank each one of you individually. Kindly accept my electronic hug to all of you.
The real story: Dammit! It was my birthday, and no one noticed! Let me post something clever online about the historical day to get something out of hundreds of my stupid cyber friends.
Post: I am humbled by the service to humanity award I have received from the International Society of Sages and Augurs.
The real story: I donated just $5 to the International Society of Sages and Augurs, and they gave me this award in recognition of my ‘services to humanity’! This piece of paper can most probably be used in a toilet. Oh, well, let me post this news online and see if I can get a few Likes.
Post: Last week, I was interviewed by the world-famous New England Journal of Science and Stellar Technologies. I never in my wildest dreams thought my life would take me where it has taken me. It is all because of my mother’s prayers and best wishes from friends like you.
The real story: New England Journal of Science and Stellar Technologies is a decent website. Why is nobody noticing my name there? Let me make an online post to wake up a few people who don’t bother to read these prestigious journals.
Post: My wonderful daughter, you make me proud! Look at her beautiful smile in this photo.
The real story: She is 25 and has not moved out yet; she treats me like an ATM. Let me put something online with her picture to shame her.
Post: My beautiful wife, my best friend, my companion for the last fifteen years, I love you beyond your wildest imaginations!
The real story: She is getting weird day by day. What a ruckus she made last night! Let me post something online to calm her down. If it does not work, this relationship is over.
