Wednesday, November 07, 2007

Emergency in Pakistan

What’s on their minds?

Pervez Musharraf: I know what is good for the nation. And I feel very secure doing what I wish to do. The Army is with me and I don’t face an internal coup. Americans are with me because they need me to fight a war against extremism in Pakistan. Other players and 160 million idiots don’t count.

General Kayani: I can see it is time for my promotion, but how should I do it? I wish someone could give me a Powerpoint presentation explaining the step-by-step process of staging a coup.

Justice Iftikhar Chaudhry: What kind of people these Pakistanis are? This dictator has suppressed their basic rights and they don't care! Can't they see it is not only the lawyers he is arresting? He is after anyone who does not wiggle his tail like Shaukat Aziz does: political activists, media people, and dish-antenna sellers. Only the lawyers are interested in upholding supremacy of law, in saving the country? Why are political parties and common Pakistanis not coming to help?

Shaukat Aziz: Thanks God I still have my US citizenship. Where would I settle, New York or Hawaii? Decisions, decisions, decisions!

Benazir Bhutto: If I can scare Pervez Musharraf and the US with my street power, I can get the General negotiate on my terms. Let me see how Musharraf and the US react to my call for long march on November 13.

Shujaat Hussain, Pervez Elahi and other PML-QA leaders: Can only that part of supremacy of law be restored that would keep BB out of the game?

Maulana Fazl ur-Rahman: I am with Musharraf, or whoever is in power, on anything, as long as I get my cut.

Qazi Hussain Ahmed: Historically every opposition has used my party to create unrest in the country. But this time I want to be assured I would get something out of this.

Altaf Hussain: I control Pakistan’s biggest city. The situation is too fluid for me to say anything to the media. I am monitoring the developments and would decide if the party I rule needs to ditch the General.

Imran Khan: The General has raised the temperature. It is time for a meltdown. I wish there were more people ready to come out on the streets.

Nawaz Sharif: I wish I were in Pakistan, but since I am not, can someone pass me another plate of murgh-musallam, please?

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