This-he: Cemendtaur's small gift to the English language

This-he: a small gift to the English language

(This-he, thishe, this he; feminine: this-she, thisshe, this she)

I...What a terrible word? Single-lettered, skinny, but still so pompous. That is why writers hate to use it. 'Yours truly'--as in, Yours truly firmly believes in obeying grammar and syntax rules others have defined--is a good substitute, but the combo has an air of funniness about it. How about 'me'?   As in, ‘Me favors being a bit naughty in spoken language.’ Yes, nice, but it does not sound that great in formal writing.

Being a writer who believes in making up words one cannot find for proper expression, yours truly will like to give the gift of ‘this-he’ as a substitute to ‘I’, to the English language. From now on this-he will consciously use this word in his writings.

Photo courtesy of HenryLim.org

My alarm was set for 6 am this morning, but as it always happens I got up almost an hour earlier than that time. I tossed and turned in bed, and waited for the ceremonial alarm to let me know it was officially morning. Just as I rested in bed, thinking about the wonderful life I have been blessed with, Benazir Bhutto was being killed in Rawalpindi. What amazingly different lives people on this planet live! Benazir's murder was another violent death of a Bhutto. These people who ostensibly live such high lives die so soon and so miserably. It is hard not to feel sorry for them.

[Photo, courtesy of Harry Walker Agency.]

http://www.reuters.com/article/featuredCrisis/idBANGLA82646

Bangladesh is saying enough is enough

Thursday December 20, 2007 9:43 AM
ALLEN HAFMAN

DHAKA, Bangladesh – In a most unusual, unprecedented diplomatic move, head of Bangladesh's interim government, has warned the West especially the US to drastically cut down its Carbon dioxide emissions and has demanded money for Bangladesh to mitigate the effects of global warming in its coastal areas.

In a press conference held on Thursday at the Prime Minister’s residence in Dhaka, Fakhruddin Ahmed flanked by his top military commanders threatened to disrupt the world economy if Bangladesh’s demands are not met.

“We are going to lose a large chunk of land when the sea levels rise because of global warming. Millions of Bangladeshis are going to be displaced. We refuse to accept this situation acquiescently. We need money to build levees to save our land. And we want the developed countries, especially the US to stop further aggravation of the global warming phenomenon. The oil party should be over, now! If they don’t stop the party we will have no choice but to use force to bust it.”

When asked to elaborate on plans Bangladesh had to “bust the oil party”, the Prime Minister seemed reluctant to comment. After mulling his response Ahmed said,
“I don’t want to go into specifics, but understand that we are not too far from the Persian Gulf, world’s largest oil producing region. We can use our air force to harass oil tankers and disrupt transportation. We have a large expatriate population in the Gulf countries. Who knows, may be those people would sabotage the oil pumping operations? After all what are they (Bangladeshis working in the Middle East) making money for? To one day come back and retire in a country that would be several feet under the sea? And also remember that there are a lot of Bangladeshis in the US and Europe. No one is asking them to do anything, but once the ball starts rolling they may feel inclined to upset oil refining operations in those countries. Bangladeshis will do whatever they can to disrupt the present energy scheme that bodes an imminent, ominous fate for their country.”

With a sullen face Ahmed added, “It is a matter of our survival. We are a peace-loving people but now that it has come to a life or death situation we are justified to employ all means to ensure our survival.”

With a fleet of Russian made MiG and Chinese built F-6 and F-7 fighter jets, Bangladesh Air Force is capable of striking targets in the Persian Gulf.

When asked what took Bangladesh so long to take such a stand, and told that whatever greenhouse effect had been started would take its toll on the world and Bangladesh, with or without any future reduction in Carbon dioxide emissions, Ahmed said,
“We don’t see it a fait-accompli. The scientific forecast regarding the effects of global warming does not mean the world should keep burning oil till we consume the last drop. Global warming is like a disease. If it has been diagnosed it must be dealt with, right away. The earlier it is treated the better.”

At one point in the press conference emotions got the better of him when a tearful Ahmed spoke in Bangla, and then provided an English translation for the benefit of foreign correspondents: “You have all the fun, and we get punished! Where is the justice?” The remark was an obvious reference to the fact that countries contributing most towards the intensification of the greenhouse effect of the planet would be least affected by its consequences, and vice versa.

Ahmed also said Bangladesh would form union with other countries threatened by the predicament of global warming.
“I am contacting President Maumoon Abdul Gayoom (of Maldives), President James Michel (of Seychelles), and other heads of states of island nations. We are going to fight tooth and nail for our survival.”

When Ahmed’s attention was called to the Ethanol production measure of the energy bill passed by the US Congress, he said, “It does not matter what you burn there. It hurts us here. Can we get away from this burning thing, please?”

When asked if Bangladesh had any deadlines for her demands to be met, Ahmed said,
“We need $250 billion dollars to build dikes and we expect this compensation from the US by February 21, 2009. And we want the US to roll back its Carbon dioxide emissions to the 1990 levels by January 1, 2015.”

The bellicose press briefing by the Bangladeshi head of the government took place just days after the conclusion of the UN conference on global warming held in Bali where the US was mostly at odds with other countries over the strategy to tackle the impending environmental disaster.

Among the plethora of questions asked in the press conference there was one that dealt with the logistics of ‘environmental war’ Bangladesh and other nations may wage with the West.
In response to “if Bangladesh would consider getting help from Al-Qaeda?” Ahmed stumbled, and responded with:
“No, not Al-Qaeda, but Greenpeace.”

John Passacantando, of Greenpeace USA, known for his strident attitude in promoting Greenpeace’s environmental agenda was amused by the Bangladeshi stance.
“We cannot volunteer ourselves for suicide bombing missions, but we can certainly strap people with the right ammunition," Passacantando jovially commented. And not so jokingly, he passed on a tip to the Bangladesh Air Force.
“The world would appreciate if the jetfighter pilots surgically bomb and disable the engines of those oil tankers instead of indiscriminatingly bombing the whole ship. We want to avoid any oil spills."

Ban Ki-moon, the United Nations secretary general, who at the Bali conference had asserted the global warming situation to be “so desperately serious that any delay could push us past the tipping point, beyond which the ecological, financial and human costs would increase dramatically” said he can understand Bangladesh’s desperation.
“But the world does not need another war, and especially in the name of environmental peace. Bangladesh has the option of presenting her case in the International Court of Justice. In fact, I would encourage Bangladesh to file for damages against big oil corporations.”

Oil prices have been on the rise since the Bangladeshi press conference. New York Stock Exchange saw an increased activity in the trading of renewable energy technology shares. Chris Cox, Chairman of the US Securities and Exchange Commission, said the federal agency has received complaints that several US and international renewable technology companies have formed a cartel and one of their strategy is to stir controversies about the oil-based economy—one rumor making rounds in corporate circles alleges cartel’s collusion in pushing Bangladesh towards such aggressive posturing.

Professor Guy Welbon of University of Pennsylvania, President of American Institute of Bangladesh studies, thinks the belligerent conference needs to be seen in the context of Bangladeshi national politics.
“The present Bangladeshi government being unelected is looking for ways to legitimize itself. Fakhruddin Ahmed as the interim head has aggressively pursued the anti-corruption agenda of this government. He wants to further earn approval and support of his countrymen by challenging the ‘external enemies’ of the country.”

Speaking to Washington correspondents, White House spokeswoman Dana Perino said, “It is sad that they (Bangladeshis) are using language that violates diplomatic norms. The US is well aware of the dangers faced by Bangladesh and wants to help her but it is not reasonable to give us any deadline or ask for a specific amount of money.

“As far as the so-called ‘oil party’ is concerned, it is fashionable to blame the US for all evils. Bangladesh must understand that the whole world has enjoyed the ‘party’. Yes, for whatever reasons some countries had more fun than others, but if Bangladeshis did not enjoy the revelry then basically it is their problem.

“Our own airbase in Diego Garcia, not too far from Bangladesh, is in danger of drowning (because of global warming). In fact, we can use Bangladeshi labor to build levees around that atoll. This way Bangladeshis would get employment and would be able to earn foreign exchange for their country.

Answering a question about US’s readiness to deal with any military adventure led by Bangladesh, Perino said, “We take all threats very seriously and we will not let anyone disrupt the world economy. We are talking to the Bangladeshi government, but if it unfortunately comes down to bombing Bangladesh back to the Stone Age then we would just have to do it--very unfortunately."

(A.H. Cemendtaur in California and Angelina Matriati in London contributed to this Rioters News Agency Report)


Photo, courtesy of Daily Star.

This poem was NOT nominated by the UN as the best poem of 2006 - and it was NOT
written by an African kid:

When I born, I black
When I grow up, I black
When I go in sun, I black
When I scared, I black
When I sick, I black
And when I die, I still black

And you white fellow

When you born, you pink
When you grow up, you white
When you go in sun, you red
When you cold, you blue
When you scared, you yellow
When you sick, you green
And when you die, you gray
And you calling me colored??

----------------------------------
Before the advent of the Internet, when we used to get junk only through the mailman, we hardly ever felt the need to go knocking on our friends' doors to share the 'gems' we had received in our mail. But the Web changed all that. Now anytime we receive anything that strikes a chord in us, we need to forward it to all and sundry--and without checking any references. Why? Can we be a bit sparing?

Most of us have been receiving the above quoted poem in spam for the last many years.

To spammers,
Since when has the UN entered the business of nominating the best poem of the year?
Please tell us the name of the African kid who wrote this?
[The style is more like Borat's, my favorite Kazakh journalist.]

Photo, courtesy of the UN.

The mystery of young Pakistani-American men dying in their sleep

There is a mystery I need to solve—the puzzle involves murders. In my personal knowledge there are three, but my friend Annie Akhter tells me she knows of six (6) cases involving young Pakistani-American men dying in their sleep. All six of them were 22 through 28 years old. They all lived pretty normal lives. Some were good students, other were not. All of them were fairly healthy; all of them had completed their studies and had either just started working or were about to start their working lives. And each one of them went to bed one day to take care of important things in the morning, and the morning never came. In many of these cases no autopsy was done. For others, families are hesitant to share private information with us.

But we got to know what is happening.
Imagine the possibilities a young man in his prime holds, the life one sees ahead when he is 25—all hopes, every expectation dashed by a sudden death. It is hard not to be enraged.

Do you have any pertinent information about any of the six cases that have happened within the last 6 months, in the Pakistani-American community? Or, do you have general ideas about what might be killing young Pakistani-American men? Would you like to share your thoughts with us, either by your real name or anonymously?

Meanwhile,
Annie and I have decided to study each case thoroughly and develop a profile. We hope we can reach important conclusions and avert similar deaths in future.

For example, we would like to find out from each aggrieved family:
List of all the people the deceased man met the last day of his life.
Minute by minute account of last 6 hours of his life before he went to sleep.

And most importantly we would like to interview the best friends of these young men.

Such a study is important not only because these are far too many deaths to be apportioned to vagaries of life, but the analysis would also help parents of other young men to watch out for certain anomalies--obviously, our assumption at this point is that there are red flags to notice.

Can you help us, please?

[Comments and information can be posted at:
http://cemendtaur-ki-urdu-dunya.blogspot.com/

War on Terror is depriving Pakistanis of their basic rights


Going to bed yesterday I counted the nights many prominent Pakistani lawyers have spent in jail this month. I tallied 15, for it has been 15 days since General Pervez Musharraf proclaimed emergency in Pakistan. Whereas, ostensibly, the purpose of emergency was to arrest the advances religious extremists had been making, in the wake of emergency thousands of lawyers and political activists were detained by the Pakistani government.

After imposition of ‘emergency’, Musharraf government has taken other repressive measures. Independent minded judges who valiantly challenged the executive branch of the government have been removed from their jobs. Private television channels that gave large coverage to political news and broadcasted debates and analyses on government policies and actions have been taken off air. Just two days ago Pakistani TV channels broadcasting from Dubai were made to shut off their operations. Strident political leaders have either been put in jail or put under house arrest. By all means developments of this nature should be of grave concern to any nation. In other parts of the world people pour out on streets for far less serious matters. But save for a small portion of the society we don’t see a unified national movement in Pakistan ready to take on Musharraf’s government. You ask, why?

Democracies are always threatened by special interest groups. In Pakistan the largest, most organized special interest group has guns and tanks, it is the Pakistan Army. The Pakistani army feels justified meddling in the political affairs of the country because it believes it can do a better job of governance than the Pakistani politicians. And not too long ago this conviction of the army was widely shared by the common man in Pakistan.

In October 1999 when General Pervez Musharraf overthrew the democratically elected government of Nawaz Sharif, people came out on the streets to express their jubilation. Pakistanis were truly happy to see corruption-riddled Nawaz Sharif government go. And before Nawaz Sharif credibility of Benazir Bhutto too was eroded by financial scandals surfacing during her two tenures as Prime Minister.

In contrast to the economic activities that took place during the democratic governments of Benazir Bhutto and Nawaz Sharif, what Pakistanis saw during Musharraf government was spectacular. Businesses started booming, foreign investments started pouring in, construction of country’s infrastructure picked up, and independent radio and TV channels started operations. Who cares if these developments were largely a result of post-9/11 geopolitical situation of Pakistan? Pervez Musharraf was at the helm; he took the credit of turning around the country and ordinary Pakistanis believed him to be the savior they were looking for, all along.

If discredited politicians and the self-perceived moral high ground of the Pakistan Army were not enough guarantees of Musharraf regime’s longevity, external support from the US cemented the general’s grip on power. Bush administration never got tired of thanking Musharraf for his role in fighting extremism in that part of the world.

Musharraf did rule with a guise of democracy. There were elections; there were assemblies where political parties of all hues were present and an active opposition debated issues, but the whole show was acted out under the watchful eyes of a dictator who was both the president and the Chief of Army Staff.

With GDP growth rate averaging over 7% and Pakistan Army and the US firmly behind Musharraf, the general could probably continue ruling the country relatively undisturbed were it not for his dismissal of the Chief Justice of Pakistan on March 9. Since then it has been a gradual but continuous downfall for Musharraf and November 3 promulgation of emergency took the veil off the real nature of his dictatorship. Now, unlike ever before the future of Pakistan is hanging in the balance.

How would Pakistanis claim back their country from their army, especially when the country lacks credible political leadership? Sixteen days after the imposition of emergency this question baffles Pakistani intelligentsia. Probably, such a monumental feat would have to be accomplished with unity among political parties and through active support of civil society.

Unfortunately, Pakistan does have a precedent of a showdown between the general population and the army. It happened in 1971. Then, through external help the largely unarmed population prevailed over the army. This time around getting help from India is not an option.

[Photo courtesy of AP/Riaz Khan)

You ain't no Lincoln, Bozo!

Emergency in Pakistan

What’s on their minds?

Pervez Musharraf: I know what is good for the nation. And I feel very secure doing what I wish to do. The Army is with me and I don’t face an internal coup. Americans are with me because they need me to fight a war against extremism in Pakistan. Other players and 160 million idiots don’t count.

General Kayani: I can see it is time for my promotion, but how should I do it? I wish someone could give me a Powerpoint presentation explaining the step-by-step process of staging a coup.

Justice Iftikhar Chaudhry: What kind of people these Pakistanis are? This dictator has suppressed their basic rights and they don't care! Can't they see it is not only the lawyers he is arresting? He is after anyone who does not wiggle his tail like Shaukat Aziz does: political activists, media people, and dish-antenna sellers. Only the lawyers are interested in upholding supremacy of law, in saving the country? Why are political parties and common Pakistanis not coming to help?

Shaukat Aziz: Thanks God I still have my US citizenship. Where would I settle, New York or Hawaii? Decisions, decisions, decisions!

Benazir Bhutto: If I can scare Pervez Musharraf and the US with my street power, I can get the General negotiate on my terms. Let me see how Musharraf and the US react to my call for long march on November 13.

Shujaat Hussain, Pervez Elahi and other PML-QA leaders: Can only that part of supremacy of law be restored that would keep BB out of the game?

Maulana Fazl ur-Rahman: I am with Musharraf, or whoever is in power, on anything, as long as I get my cut.

Qazi Hussain Ahmed: Historically every opposition has used my party to create unrest in the country. But this time I want to be assured I would get something out of this.

Altaf Hussain: I control Pakistan’s biggest city. The situation is too fluid for me to say anything to the media. I am monitoring the developments and would decide if the party I rule needs to ditch the General.

Imran Khan: The General has raised the temperature. It is time for a meltdown. I wish there were more people ready to come out on the streets.

Nawaz Sharif: I wish I were in Pakistan, but since I am not, can someone pass me another plate of murgh-musallam, please?

FOSA's 2007 Eid-Diwali celebration held on Sunday, November 4 turned into a brainstorming session to work with other organizations and people in Pakistan to resist emergency rule. The following media advisory sent to various publications was read in the meeting.

MEDIA ADVISORY
FOSA Demands the Restoration of Democracy in Pakistan
The military dictator, Pervez Musharraf, has imposed a state of emergency in Pakistan, aborting the long-awaited return to democracy. With the Provisional Constitutional Order (PCO), Mr. Musharraf has authorized himself to rule by decree, suspended fundamental rights in Pakistan, and granted himself unlimited powers. The PCO also prohibits the Supreme Court of Pakistan from passing a judgment against Mr. Musharraf. When the Supreme Courtrefused to ratify Mr. Musharraf's declaration of the state of emergency, eight SC judges, including Iftikhar Muhammad Choudhary, the Chief Justice, were taken into custody and Mr. Musharraf appointed a new Chief Justice. Other judges from lower courts and many lawyers, including Barrister Aitzaz Ahsan, president of the Supreme Court Bar Association, have been detained. Regular news broadcasts have been suspended, independent TV news channels forced off the air and curbs imposed on the media.
Friends of South Asia (www.friendsofsouthasia.org), a San Francisco bay area based organization, strongly condemns the declaration of emergency rule in Pakistan. It is an illegal and unconstitutional decision and an attempt by a military dictator to continue his illegal and unconstitutional rule. This declaration of a state of emergency must be universally condemned and the generals in Pakistan must end their stranglehold on the country.
FOSA expresses its solidarity with the people of Pakistan in their demand for an end to dictatorship and for free fair and elections. We are heartened by the courage shown by the Justices of the Supreme Court who have declared the PCO and the imposition of the state of emergency illegal and unconstitutional. The Court has declared that no judge of the Supreme Court or any of the high courts including the chief justices would take oath under new PCO. We also commend civil society organizations such as various human rights groups, lawyers groups, independent news and blogger sites in Pakistan who continue to organize and inform the public in defiance of the government orders.
FOSA rejects President Musharraf's defence of emergency rule as a necessary step to combat extremism and terrorism. We disagree that suspending the rights and liberties of its own citizens would in any way help Pakistan fight extremists and terrorists. This is a transparent ploy by Mr. Musharraf and his military junta to crush the nascent movement towards democracy.
FOSA joins with all citizens of Pakistan in demanding an immediate end to the emergency rule and a speedy restoration of the constitution and the rule of law. To ensure working of an independent judiciary, all Supreme Court judges deposed on November 3 by Mr. Musharraf should be restored to their positions. FOSA demands that all political workers and members of the legal fraternity arrested in the wake of declaration of emergency rule be immediately released.

---------------------------
Previously, a bolder plan of action was under consideration. Here is the draft.

With the imposition of Emergency on November 3, 2007
General Pervez Musharraf has plunged Pakistan into
great uncertainty. Whereas General Pervez Musharraf
says he took the precarious step to save Pakistan, no
one doubts the only thing Musharraf is interested in
saving is his own grip on power.

We condemn Pervez Musharraf’s latest authoritarian
decree and want Pakistanis and well-wishers of
Pakistan to build pressure on him to take back the
emergency measures. But having witnessed Pervez
Musharraf’s propensity to sacrifice anything for his
own personal gain we doubt if Musharraf under any
cogent force would backtrack.

Considering Pakistanis desire for democracy, the
recent struggle for the restoration of a Chief Justice
illegally removed by the dictator, the ongoing
pro-civil society debates in the erstwhile independent
Pakistani media, and the pro-democracy sentiments
within the Pakistan army we wish to humbly suggest a
shorter path towards restoring order in Pakistan.

In order to facilitate removal of Pervez Musharraf and
to avoid further chaos in the country by keeping its
institutions intact we urge Pakistanis in general and
Pakistan’s political parties in particular to quickly
form an interim government. The interim government
and events related to its enactment should have the
following features:

1. The interim government should be headed by an
interim president who would hold free and fair general
elections in the shortest span of time.
2. To ensure working of an independent judiciary all
Supreme Court judges deposed on November 3 by Pervez
Musharraf should be restored to their positions.
3. Pakistan Army should stop taking orders from Pervez
Musharraf and current Vice Chief of Army Staff,
General Kayani should immediately take charge of the
forces. General Kayani should work under the interim
president.
4. All political workers and members of legal
fraternity arrested in the wake of emergency should be
released.
5. All bureaucratic institutions with their current
officers should keep functioning under the interim
president.

We urge Pakistani political parties to quickly consent
to an interim president. One choice obvious to many
would be Retired Chief Justice Wajihuddin Ahmed who as
a public servant not only had a spotless career, but
who gained considerable public support while recently
running for President against Pervez Musharraf

Till an interim government through the wishes of
Pakistanis and Pakistan’s political parties takes
command we ask all citizens to commence an indefinite
strike starting from Monday, November 5.

Abrar Hasan Advocate, President, Sindh High Court Bar Association


Is it all coming to a grand finale?

http://www.dailytimes.com.pk/default.asp?page=2007%5C11%5C05%5Cstory_5-11-2007_pg12_1

Munir, Abrar arrested, raids to arrest more

By AR Qureshi

KARACHI: Munir A. Malik, former president of the Supreme Court Bar Association Pakistan (SCBAP) and Abrar Hassan, the president of the Sindh High Court Bar Association (SHCBA) have been taken into custody and removed to Central Prison Karachi (CPK).

Malik was arrested a few hours after the emergency was declared by Chief of Army Staff General Pervez Musharraf on Saturday evening. Hassan was arrested on Sunday afternoon from his residence and was immediately taken to jail.

Salahuddin Gandapur, senior member of the Sindh Bar Council (SBC), was also taken into custody and raids are being conducted to arrest Rasheed A. Razvi, a former judge and frontline lawyer leader, said Shaikh Munir-ur-Rahman, the SHCBA’s honorary secretary, while talking to Daily Times.

When asked about the leaders of the Karachi Bar Association (KBA), Rahman said that the cell phones of both the KBA secretary Naeem Qureshi and President Iftikhar Javed Kazi were off and they might have gone underground under the circumstances.

When asked about a strategy, Rahman, while speaking from an undisclosed location, said that lawyers would boycott court proceedings on Monday and would hold general-body meetings to decide what to do.

Police start rounding up lawyers?: The names of more than two dozen lawyers are on a list for arrests ordered by the Sindh Home Department, sources said. But this has been denied so far by the chief of police.

Sources said that the police have started conducting raids to round up Justice (retd) Rasheed A Rizvi, advocates Abrar Hassan, Noor Nas Agha, Shahadat Awan, Arshad Judoon, Nehal Hashmi, Iftikhar Javaid Qazi, Naeem Qureshi, Aqil Lodhi and others.

There were reports that Advocate Noor Naz Agha was in the custody of Jamshed Quarters police. Supervisory Police Officer (SPO) of Jamshed Quarters DSP Anwar Zaib confirmed Agha’s detention. “We don’t know yet where Agha has been kept,” he said adding that it was the work of the women police. However, SHO Women Police Station Ghazala Pervain denied this. “We don’t have Agha in our custody yet.” According to some reports, the police raided the residence of advocate Munir A Malik and others lawyers.

Gone Phishing

A very official looking email message from IRS, with the above logo, landed in my mail box. It read:


After the last annual calculations of your fiscal activity we have determined that
you are eligible to receive a tax refund of $89.46.
Please submit the tax refund request and allow us 3-6 days in order to
process it.

A refund can be delayed for a variety of reasons.
For example submitting invalid records or applying after the deadline.

To access the form for your tax refund, please click here


Note: For security reasons, we will record your ip-address, the date and time.
Deliberate wrong inputs are criminally pursued and indicated.


Regards,
Internal Revenue Service


© Copyright 2007, Internal Revenue Service U.S.A. All rights reserved.

--------------------------

Were it not for grammatical and syntax errors in the message--the most laughable being "criminally pursued and indicated"--I would have fallen for it.

Allah is smoking out depraved Hollywood people, says Maulana Ahmad Shah Thatvi

Allen Hafman

Thatta, Pakistan
Maulana Ahmad Shah Thatvi has expressed contentment with the latest news of raging fires in California that have burned homes of many Hollywood stars.
“They are the textbook examples of na-farman (disobeyers). Allah's wrath has finally caught up with them," a smug Maulana Thatvi told a large crowd.
“Have you seen American porn? What filth these Hollywood people produce! Naoozo Billah. Is it any surprise that the fire of hell which was their destiny in afterlife has been ordered for them a bit earlier,” Maulana told his Isha prayer audience.
When asked to compare American porn with European and Japanese porn and inquired if European and Japanese actors were going to hell too, Maulana refused to comment because he had not seen European and Japanese porn.
When asked if there was any way the California fires could be stopped, Maulana said that if all Hollywood men and women convert to Islam right away and pray (men and women separately) on Malibu beach the winds may suddenly die and it would be possible to put out the fires. [Maulana was informed by the reporters that the negative image of Muslims and Islam in the American media has ensured that only those interested in getting hired as suicide bombers would convert to Islam.]
When told that Britney Spears was on the verge of conversion to Islam, Maulana said if she had done it in time Allah might have changed His plans, and she might even have received custody of her children.
[Karim Bux and Angelina Matriati contributed to this Rioters News Agency report.]